Change

April 25, 2015

Writings

waterdrop

It is hard for people to change; for the most part, I used to believe people never change. As I grow individually, I believe discovering change is an important element in understanding life experiences. For the many, curiosity and conversation open you to new ideas which shape your thinking, which may or may not change your personality. For the few, going through a life changing experience fundamentally changes the way you think about the world and your role within it. For the others, psychedelic drugs stimulate change by driving your thoughts deeper, altering how your mind processes information and helping you understand your own ideas. Once you are able to change how you think, you are able to change as an individual and truly discover what happiness means for yourself.

I always enjoy having an interesting conversation. If I think about why I enjoy interesting conversations, I believe it is because I have a naturally curious personality – I enjoy learning about different perspectives. As I hear and learn about different perspectives, my mind is opened to new possibilities in how people live, think and interact. It is difficult to say if conversations change my personality, but the conversations driven by curiosity and introspection certainly impact my thinking on a subject.

My first truly life changing experience was the passing of a close friend. What is surprising is that the passing itself was not a life changing experience for me as it is with most. However, his passing sparked conversation among my friends and curiosity within myself. Everything happens for a reason. If you use this idea to drive your understanding of events, then it leads you to believe that there is meaning with every negative experience. In trying to understand how his passing impacted my life, it became the catalyst for my introspection in how I view the world which itself was a life changing experience. From my introspection I was able to reflect on the meaning of my past experiences, and learn new lessons from them. I have almost come to appreciate negative experiences as things that open my mind to new ways of thinking and develop a deeper appreciation for all experiences.

Every memory I have with psychedelics is interesting in retrospect as they seem to highlight important elements of my future love. On the journey of discovering what love is, you are learning about each element that brings you happiness. Once you master each element, then you can move on; learning the elements of happiness are important to the experience of life. In my early experience, I developed a deeper appreciation for physical chemistry after experiencing a heightened sense of touch. Once I was able to experience what a powerful element it was to my mind, I realized that I always wanted to be able to connect physically with my love – to be turned on by turning her on and simply to be turned on by running my fingers along her arm. In a later experience, I understood the importance of being open in conversation after first forgetting my inner self. If you forget about your current life, you learn that it is a waste of energy pretending to be something you are not or not speaking your mind. You should be able to act naturally around her – she should accept you for who you are. In the most recent experience, I finally understand the concept of curiosity. Everyone has a different level of curiosity and the breadth also varies, but it can be seen through conversations driven by constant thought and reflection. When you are able to talk to each other about anything, you can share your deepest thoughts and reflections with her. If your curiosity is matching, then that means you can change together and grow together.

Your experiences in life make up who you are. At every moment in time you are unique, because you are constantly changing as your thinking continues to evolve. But because you are always different with every moment in time, there are infinite people you will be able to love because there are infinite variations of your own personality and your own self. The idea of marriage is not simply about finding someone that you are happy with at a moment in time. Rather, the idea of marriage is about freezing the moment in time where you are the happiest, and building upon it. Happiness is the most important thing in life. Happiness is love because love should be the most important thing in your life. Therefore, discovering change and finding the person that you want to change with, is how you will find your final love.

 

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